For My Redemption
by starlight.moon.princess
Summary: As much as Renard would like to like to think he's making a conscious choice in deciding to wake Juliette, he's not :: one-sided Nick/Renard, background Nick/Juliette


"You are sure you want to do this?"

Captain Sean Renard could almost see the shadowy figure on the other side of the phone line frowning in disapproval.

"It is a…change in our previous strategy, I grant you that. But if he were to find out that I could have done something and desisted – well, no one wants a rogue Grimm in their territory, especially not one who has already gained friends and allies among the local wesen community. Should he turn, it could mean an all out war, and that is not something I am willing to risk."

"You risk it either way. Turning Adalind against you is not a wise move, and that is exactly what you will be doing, by lifting her curse."

"Burkhardt presents the greater danger. As the humans say, I am afraid I am stuck between a rock and a hard place – the only thing I can do now is to minimize the damage as far as I can."

"You know where to find me if you need me." That was all the warning he got before he heard the click of the phone was from the other end.

He slowly put the phone in his hand down. It was true; helping to awaken Julietter Sliverton was a huge risk. It was even more dangerous considering he was seeking not only to wake her from her coma, but also to halt Adalind's spell of forgetfulness. Should she find out who it was who stopped her plans for the Grimm – well, Nick Burkhardt would be a dangerous enemy, but so would the Hexenbiest nation.

But Nick was the more immediate danger – if Adalind decided to wage a war against him, he'd have some warning, and definitely a lot of allies that had problems with her too. Nick, on the other hand – the Grimm was already a dividing force in the wesen world, the idea of a traditional catch and release Grimm so foreign to them. If he decided to turn against Renard, it could tear the supernatural world into pieces.

At least, that was what he was going with. That explanation would calm anyone who tried to question the actions he was about to take. He, on the other hand, had his own reasons for his decision.

He had no care for Juliette. In fact, he would have preferred to leave her the way she was – awake, she was a thorn in his side, even though she didn't know it. Having her in coma would have been a huge relief for him – had it not been for Nick.

Nick Burkhardt had worked under him for quite a few years now, and he had known that the man was destined to be a Grimm for all of them. He was Marie Kessler's nephew, after all. But he had been certain that his training as police officer would overcome any instinct he had to kill indiscriminately – and he had been right.

Just in case, however, he had taken him under his wing all those years ago. That way, he would have some say in shaping him to be better than his parents and his aunt. He had succeeded in that, but he hadn't anticipated the other results that came out of it.

The man had had a naturally strong conscience – he hadn't needed to do much. In the process, however, he had started to see Nick Burkhardt as something more than just a subordinate and a future Grimm. He had slowly become a friend, at least in his mind, and then he had somehow fallen in love with him.

That had been a shock – Hexenbiest, and by extension, Zauberbiest, didn't fall in love. And while he might have been half-human, he still had enough of the wesen in him to believe that that would have been the case for him too.

Obviously, Nick was exceptional in several ways.

But he had kept quiet – confessing would have so many reprecussions. He was Renard's junior at work, which had it's own set of problems, and then there were the shockwaves that would go through the wesen world if a member of the royal family had a relationship with a Grimm. And then there was the little fact that Nick had no interest in him whatsoever – he was almost certainly exclusively heterosexual.

So he had kept quiet, even when Juliette entered the picture. It had hurt, watching him fall in love with a human woman, but he had learned how to hide his emotions at a young age. He had coped.

None of that meant that he wouldn't be happier if she was out of the picture. When he had decided not to make his feelings known, he had been young; the just appointed Protector of Portland. He hadn't been in a position to take any risk as big as that.

Now, he had grown in strength, and if Nick ever became single, he would take the chance he had refused to take all those years ago. And that meant that it was only Juliette Silverton standing in his way.

But he loved Nick – he loved him enough that all he wanted was for him to be happy, even if it meant breaking his own heart in the process. And the thing that would make him truly happy was to have Juliette back the way she was, healthy with her memory intact.

As much as he liked to pretend that he was making a choice in going to help wake Juliette Silverton, it truth, it was all a lie. As long as he loved Nick, there would be no decision to be made when it came to doing things that made him happy.

And the worst part of it was, he was almost certain that he would never fall out of love with the Grimm of Portland. Falling in love even once went against everything his wesen side stood for – he doubted that it would allow for another.

So he walked out of his office, making his way towards the hospital. It was time for Juliette to come out of her coma.

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